


Duty Bound

by a_whisper_in_time



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Gay Sex, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kidnapping, M/M, Mating Bond, Pon Farr, Soul Bond, Space Husbands, Torture, Vulcan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:25:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8334391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_whisper_in_time/pseuds/a_whisper_in_time
Summary: Spock's father is requiring him to formally take a mate; a female, vulcan, mate. Spock has to decide where his loyalty lies, with his species, or with his love, James T. Kirk. Of course, nothing is ever simple when it comes to life on the Enterprise. Danger will inevitably find them.





	1. Chapter 1

“It’s not logical.”  
“Don’t you dare start with that. We’ve been through this.” Jim threw his uniform angrily toward the bed, turning to face Spock in his black undershirt.  
“Jim-“  
“What am I supposed to do? Just sit back while you go off and take a mate?”  
“I have a duty to further the population of my race.” Spock’s expression and tone hadn’t changed this entire argument and it was making Jim’s blood boil.  
“Fuck your duty.” He spat. Spock took a small step forward.  
“Jim, please.”  
“I love you!” Jim was officially shouting. Spock sighed and his posture drooped just enough for Jim to pick up on it.  
“I know.” He said quietly.  
“If you don’t feel the same way anymore than just tell me and I’ll let you go.”  
“You know that’s not the case.”  
“Then why can’t I be your mate?” Jim tried to keep his voice strong, but the note of vulnerability could not be hidden completely.  
“It is not acceptable for a Vulcan male to mate with another male at this time.” Spock said simply.  
“Since when do we give a damn about what’s acceptable? A starship captain and his first officer romantically involved, that’s not acceptable. We did it anyway. A Vulcan with a human lover, that’s not acceptable. We did it anyway. Hell, you’ve been challenging your people’s standards since well before we met when you decided to join Starfleet. What’s so different about this? Why are you willing to bend under their homophobic rules and let them force you into a marriage you don’t want?” Jim had been pacing again, gesturing wildly with his arms as he spoke.  
“Vulcans are not ‘homophobic’, as you say. It has nothing to do with intolerance or hate.” Jim scoffed, but Spock carried on unperturbed. “It is simply illogical for two males to choose each other as their mate because there is no means for reproduction. Pon Farr pulls our instincts to the forefront and forces us to partake in relations that might never have occurred otherwise. It is an evolutionary way to ensure the survival of our race. That is its purpose.”  
“You seriously want to have kids with some women you don’t know, don’t love, and aren’t even attracted to?” Jim was incredulous.  
“It does not matter what I want. My father is the ambassador, it is important for me to do what is expected.”  
“Your father loves me!” Jim exclaimed. Spock raised an eyebrow. “Well he tolerates me just fine. And he knows about our relationship.” Spock nodded.  
“But now that my time is approaching and I will be forced to formally mate, he has expressed a desire for me to do what is right.” Jim shook his head and moved to where Spock was standing. He took Spock’s hands in his and met his gaze.  
“This, me and you, this is right. You have to believe that.” Jim was pleading now but he could hardly care. His life was on the line.  
Spock opened his mouth to respond but hesitated on the words. Jim just stared into his eyes, looking for he didn’t know what, and waited. The air was thick between them, the silence tense. Jim’s comm. took that moment to go off. Jim gave Spock’s hands a squeeze before letting go and heading over to answer the call.  
“Kirk here.”  
“Captain,” Uhura’s voice came through the communicator. “We’ve got an open line with a nearby Starfleet vessel. Their captain wants to speak with you.”  
“I’ll be right there. Kirk out.” Jim turned to look at Spock who stood rigidly in the center of his room. He sighed deeply and grabbed his uniform shirt before heading for the door. A captain’s shift was never really over.  
“Well?” He said over his shoulder. “You coming?” Spock nodded curtly and followed Jim out to the bridge.  
Anthony Reynolds, Captain of the USS Faragut, requested extra supplies from the Enterprise. They had run into some issues on their latest mission and were now short on several things needed to make the return trip. Jim agreed to let a small party board the Enterprise, and gave them what he could spare. By the time the whole thing was dealt with he was exhausted and in dire need of sleep.  
Spock silently followed him back to his rooms. Jim could feel Spock’s eyes on him, and the tension that was slowly returning between them. He was too tired to deal with this right now. Once inside, Jim immediately began to strip down to just his boxers as he headed straight for the bed. Spock hovered a few feet away.  
“Jim, I-“ He didn’t know what to say. Jim turned and took in Spock’s awkward stance, the uncertainty radiating from him, and sighed deeply.  
“Just come to bed Spock. I’m too tired.” Jim rubbed a hand over his face, then climbed into bed. There was a beat of hesitation before Spock moved. He too undressed and headed over to the bed. Jim pulled the covers back and allowed Spock to slide in next to him. Jim immediately threw an arm over Spock’s chest, tangled their legs together, and nestled his face into Spock’s neck. He felt Spock tense for a fraction of a second before relaxing into the embrace. He turned and placed a soft kiss in Jim’s hair. Within seconds, Jim was fast asleep. 

Jim was alone when he woke up. Not his favorite way to start the day, but not entirely unusual. Vulcans didn’t require as much sleep as humans so Spock was often up before Jim. What was less than usual was the fact that Spock was not even in Jim’s quarters. On a typical day, Spock rose early and meditated in a space he set up in the corner of the room, or he sat at the desk and got some work done until Jim was awake. Today, Spock had gotten up and left, most likely because he was in turmoil.  
Jim sighed and checked the clock. He still had a few hours before his shift started, and he was pretty sure he knew where Spock was.  
When Jim walked into their “greenhouse” deck he was immediately aware of the uncomfortable heat. These plants required a much higher temperature in order to thrive, a temperature that was similar to Vulcan. Spock came here when he required solitude, when he needed to think without distractions. Jim guessed it was the most comfortable place on the ship for Spock. Probably the only place outside of engineering where Spock wasn’t cold.  
“I’m not going to give up on you, you know.” Jim said quietly as he approached Spock. He was seated on the floor amongst the plants, body calm and breathing slow. Jim watched his back rise and fall with another deep breath.  
“And I’m not going to let you push me away, so don’t even think of going all stone cold on me.” Jim stood beside Spock and waited. After a long moment Spock sighed and rose to his feet. No matter how long they had been together, Jim was still amazed at the way Spock moved. Everything he did was graceful and fluid, every motion precise and carried out with ease.  
“I am conflicted.” Spock said softly, as if he were confessing some terrible secret. Jim watched the side of his face as he stared off into the foliage.  
“I am bound to my duty as a Vulcan, and as the son of an ambassador, but I do not wish to be. My life is here, with you, and to leave it would be very… difficult.” Jim placed a hand on Spock’s arm and Spock finally turned to face him.  
“You don’t have to.” Jim said. “There are other Vulcans that can further the race. And you’re only half Vulcan anyway, they won’t be that disappointed if you don’t reproduce. No offense.” Spock just shook his head.  
“You do not understand.” He moved to turn away but Jim gripped his arm tighter and held him in place.  
“Then help me to.” He pleaded. “Because I’m not just going to roll over and let this happen to you. I’m not going to let you condemn yourself to a life of unhappiness.”  
“I will not be suffering.” Spock said, but they both knew it was a lie.  
“Please Spock. Let me talk to your father, let me talk to anyone. I can get you out of this.”  
“So I can be a disgrace to my people? So I can be the worthless half human they have always believed me to be? I no longer wish to be a disappointment.” There was a lot of old hurt coming to the surface right now and Jim was overwhelmed.  
“Who are you afraid of disappointing? Your father? Your peers? A bunch of old Vulcan council members? You don’t know those people, and those people don’t know you.” He reach up and cupped Spock’s face in his hand. Spock eyes were unfathomably deep in that moment as they held Jim’s gaze like a life line.  
“From where I’m standing,” Jim said softly. “It seems like a simple decision. What do you care about more? Your reputation, or me?” Something in Spock’s eyes broke and he let them slide closed. Jim leaned up and gently met Spock’s lips with his own. A soft lingering kiss that spoke more meaningfully than any words Jim could say.  
“Choose me.” He whispered against Spock’s lips. “Please.”  
As he walked away he could feel a part of him start to break. Jim knew he was being selfish, knew he was hitting below the belt by laying it out so black and white. But he would do whatever it took to keep Spock. 

After his shift was over, Jim headed to sick bay and into Bones’ office. He went immediately into the cabinet and took out his emergency supply of scotch, pouring himself a nice big glass while he waited for Bones. When Bones finally came in, Jim was almost finished with his second, rather large drink.  
“That’s supposed to be for emergencies.” He said in greeting. Jim gulped down the rest of his glass before responding.  
“This is an emergency.” Bones sighed and sat down across from Jim. He grabbed the bottle and took several long sips.  
“Talk to me.” He said. And Jim did. He told Bones about Spock’s impending Pon Farr, about how Spock’s father had contacted him and requested he return home to mate, about how Spock was required to take a female Vulcan mate in order to reproduce, and about their several big fights since then. Bones listened silently the entire time, nodding when appropriate and just letting Jim get it all out.  
“If I really loved him I wouldn’t be asking him to choose me over his family, his culture, his heritage. If I was a better man I would let him go. But I can’t Bones. I love him. I need him.” Jim let his head drop into his hands in defeat. He was well on his way to intoxication at this point and it wasn’t doing anything to numb the sadness that sat in the pit of his stomach like a rock.  
“And how does the hobgoblin feel about all this.” Bones asked.  
“He doesn’t want to do it.” Jim said, raising his head to look at Bones. “But he thinks he has to. He says he’s ‘bound by duty’ and you know how he can be about duty.” Bones nodded. Spock was fiercely loyal, and absolutely devoted to being honorable.  
“Dr. McCoy?” Nurse Chapel called from the other room. “Can you take a look at this please?”  
“Be right there.” Bones sighed and got up from his chair. He clapped a hand on Jim’s shoulder as he passed, giving it a comforting squeeze.  
“It will all work out Jim. He loves you, he’ll make the right choice.” He stopped in the doorway and looked back over at Jim. “And if he doesn’t…. I’ll kill him.” Jim scoffed a laugh and shooed Bones from the room. His best friend never had the answers to Jim’s problems, but he was a good listener, and he always made things seem a little less hopeless. Which was truly surprising given his cynical attitude. 

The doors to his quarters opened and before he even had a moment to think he was pushed into a wall and pinned there by a very warm body. Spock buried his face in Jim’s neck, inhaling deeply and dragging his teeth along the veins there. Recognition hit Jim quickly and his hands automatically went to Spock’s waist. He could feel the other man trembling.  
“Spock-” Jim tried to start, but he didn’t know what he was trying to say. Spock just pressed him harder into the wall.  
“Jim.” Spock pulled back to meet Jim’s gaze. There was fire in his eyes. “Please.” He was desperate, hopeless, and there was something so vulnerable about him in this moment that Jim wanted to pull him close and never let go.  
“Okay.” Jim said simply, raising a hand to the side of Spock’s neck. He let his thumb drag across Spock’s cheekbone. They didn’t need to talk right now.  
Spock surged forward and caught Jim’s lips in a searing kiss. One hand held tight to the nape of Jim’s neck, the other kept a bruising grip on Jim’s hip. His every move was colored with desperation. Jim understood the feeling. They were very close to losing this. Jim couldn’t even bear the thought.  
They were both gasping for breath before long, but neither were willing to pull away from each other for more than a fraction of a second. Jim had his hands shoved up Spock’s shirt, greedy for more hot skin. Spock raised his arms and Jim pulled the shirt off of him before quickly removing his own. They both groaned when their chests came into contact. Every inch of Spock’s skin was sensitive, he was a touch telepath after all. Every inch exposed brought more sensation and lit fires under his skin. He could feel Jim’s need like this, feel his love, his desperation. All emotions mirrored by Spock himself.  
It took Spock a long time to be able to let go like this, to give in to his human half and allow himself to feel, to want, to need. Now that he had this, he couldn’t imagine ever letting it go. He didn’t think he would ever not need Jim like this. Touching Jim put air in his lungs.  
By the time they were naked and in bed together their pace slowed. Once Spock got Jim under him he sat back and just admired the sight before him. Jim’s face was flushed, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his lips red and swollen, and his eyes, his eyes were shining with such emotion. It put a lump in Spock’s throat. Jim was so beautiful like this, and Spock wanted to love every inch of him.  
Spock took his time. He worshipped Jim’s body from his head to his toes. Jim was writing on the bed, drowning in the pleasure Spock was showering on him. Spock was pulling him apart and laying him bare. When Spock finally pushed inside of him Jim cried out. Tears stung his eyes and he ached for Spock, needed him from the very core of his being. Jim realized he was crying when Spock kissed the tears from his face.  
There was so much emotion between them they were both overwhelmed by it. Jim was overcome with pleasure, beyond thinking, beyond words. But this was different from the other times they made love like this. This was desperate and searching and somehow, it felt like saying goodbye.  
Jim woke in the middle of the night and laid in the dark listening to the sound of Spock’s even breathing. They were wrapped up in each other, Spock’s arms encircling him and holding on tight, even in his sleep. Jim watched his face. He always looked so peaceful like this; it was the only time his face was truly relaxed. Jim loved being able to see him like this. The more he stared, the more his throat tightened in fear. He couldn’t lose this, he just couldn’t.  
“Please don’t leave me.” He whispered softly into the night. 

No amount of meditation could calm the turmoil of Spock’s mind. As much as Jim did not believe in them, Spock was caught in a no-win scenario. He was a Vulcan. He was proud of his identity, of his heritage and culture and everything that it entailed. That was who he was, down to his very core. And he loved Jim. Loved him with a strength that continued to defy all logic. He could not imagine himself without Jim by his side, did not believe he could be whole without the other. How then was he supposed to choose between the two? In order to have Jim, he would have to walk away from everything he had ever known. All the values and customs and traditions that he held dear, his home, his family, all would have to be sacrificed to keep Jim in his life. Could he really do such a thing? And if that were not hard enough, if he were to choose Jim over everything, how could he live with himself knowing he had turned his back on his entire race? The effort to repopulate was the prime initiative of Vulcans at this point in time. They had suffered a huge blow and were coming together in response to ensure the survival of their race. Spock was connected to them and their efforts just as every Vulcan was. They were all bound together through the fabric of space and time, telepathically connected in a way that was entirely unbreakable. If Spock were to walk away from that connection, he would feel the sting of it for the rest of his life.  
Spock loved Jim with a fierceness that scared him. But Spock was a creature of duty, bound by logic and reason. His feelings for Jim could not be explained or quantified in any logical way. Spock could find no way to rationalize his desire to stay with Jim, to put aside the demands of his father and do what felt right. He was not a man to follow his feelings over his head. Coming to the realization that he could not stay with Jim without sacrificing everything that he was, was harder to accept than it should have been. He resigned himself to just trying to enjoy the time he had left with Jim; if Jim could even still want him. His time was approaching, and when it did, he would do the right thing. But right now, he was going to hold onto his heart, at least for a little while longer.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim was running full speed towards engineering. When the alarms went off it took them all by surprise. They were in neutral space, heading to a Starfleet station for some shore leave. They weren’t under attack, there weren’t any other ships in their immediate area, nor were there any signs of life or unusual energy in surrounding space. Something was happening to the Enterprise, and it was happening inside the ship.

Scotty had sent an SOS to the bridge when he suddenly lost all control of engineering. The ship’s whole system went wonky, according to Scotty. Almost immediately after that call, other systems on the ship began to crash. Before he knew it, the whole ship was in imminent danger. And so, Jim found himself sprinting to engineering to try and get a handle on the situation.

The whole crew was rushing to battle stations, but there was no one to fight. Jim had no idea what the hell was going on. Spock was on his way to sick bay to assist Bones with some kind of catastrophe that Jim didn’t even bother to try and process. Suddenly all the lights went out. Jim slid to a halt and looked around in confusion before swearing under his breath and continuing to run. The emergency lights flickered on a few seconds later. At least the emergency systems were still up and running. Engineering was absolute chaos. Scotty was sweating and swearing and yelling at everyone within earshot. Jim took a deep breath and dove right in.

Sick bay was in a similar state. Alarms were blaring and McCoy and Nurse Chapel were frantically trying to keep up. Spock paused to ascertain the situation when Bones spotted him.

“Spock! Get your green blooded ass over here!” Life support systems were crashing and patients were in critical condition. Spock immediately set to work.  


“Captain.” Sulu’s voice carried through the ships intercom to engineering.

“Yes Mr. Sulu?” Jim wiped some sweat out of his eyes with the back of a grease covered arm.

“There’s a ship approaching sir. We have no power to our shields and limited phaser capabilities.”  


“Uhura, try and hail them.”  


“Yes sir.”  


“Um… captain?” Uhura’s voice was uncertain.  


“Yes lieutenant?”  


“You might want to come up here.”  


Shit. “On my way.” And Jim was running once again.  


Jim was surprised to see Captain Anthony Reynolds of the USS Faragut. There was another man with him, not in Starfleet uniform.  


“Captain.” Jim said tersely. “What’s this all about?”  


“I’m sorry Kirk. I had no choice. I had to protect my crew.” Jim turned his attention to the other man. Based on what little Kirk knew of the situation, and the way this man dressed and carried himself, there was only one possibility here… fucking space pirates. Awesome.  


“When we beamed aboard to get supplies from you last month one of my officers planted a device given to us by this man, who’s crew had taken over the Faragut.”  


“Who are you?” Kirk asked the man.  


“Captain James Tiberius Kirk, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Carth. I’m here for your ship.”  


“Over my dead body.” Jim replied evenly. Carth just laughed.  


“Oh, it won’t come to that Captain.” His confidence was unnerving. “His? Oh yes.” Carth said just as he raised a gun and fired at Captain Reynolds. Half the bridge crew gasped in shock. His body dropped to the floor with a sick thud.  


“Just so you know I’m serious.” Carth smiled sweetly. Jim had already taken two steps forward, but there was nothing he could do.  


“You didn’t have to do that.” Jim said through gritted teeth.  


“I know.” Carth said simply. “He was a tedious man though.” He snapped his fingers and two guards came in and dragged Reynolds’ body away.  


“Now, about your ship…”  


“Why should I listen to anything you have to say? The Faragut isn’t equipped for battle, there’s no way you could defeat the Enterprise, even in it’s weakened state.”  


“Oh I know.” Carth replied. “But don’t you care about the lives of this crew? They are innocents you know.”  


“How do I know you haven’t already killed all of them?”  
Carth gestured to someone off the screen and shortly after a new image appeared on the screen. It was a group of prisoners, all in Starfleet regulation clothing. Jim could see about twenty of them from this angle. One was pushed forward by a guard and forced to look into the camera.  


“Captain Kirk?” The main questioned tentatively. He didn’t appear to be able to see them. “My name is Nathan Thompson, First Officer of the USS Faragut. We’ve been taken over by Carth and his crew. We suffered many casualties during the initial attack, the rest of us were taken prisoner, nearly a hundred I’d say. Sir, do not negotiate with this man, he will-“ The feed was abruptly cut off.  


“The feed is live and legitimate sir.” Sulu answered without even being asked. Jim nodded absently, his attention still on the screen in front of him, and the man threatening his ship.  


“You see Captain? There are still lives for you to save on this ship. You will not destroy it.” Carth chuckled softly. “Humans are so foolish.”  


“What are you? What have you done to my ship?” Jim was ready for some answers. Who the hell was this man?  


“Worry not Captain, no harm will come to your ship. If you hand it over to me that is…” Carth laughed again and Jim’s blood boiled. “Now, I realize you might be hesitant to part with such a glorious spacecraft; so I’ve taken the liberty of borrowing some of your crew, just to speed up the process.”  


“Captain!” Scotty’s voice came through the intercom. “Someone was just beamed off the ship! Two people! I dunno how it’s happening and I canna stop it!”  


“Get them back Scotty. Now.” Jim looked up to see that Carth had thrown himself casually into the captain’s chair of the Faragut. Before he knew it two figures were being manhandled into the room and thrown to the floor in front of Carth. Jim nearly choked on the lump in his throat.  
Bones and Spock.

“Beam over here Captain. Then you will give me and my crew full control of the Enterprise. If you fail to do so, I will kill both of these men. Slowly.” Another wicked smile. Jim’s hands were clenched into fists at his sides.  


“And before you say anything, I know how important these men are to you. I wouldn’t have picked just any crew member now would I?”  


“Ready the transporter.” Jim said, maintaining eye contact with Carth before he started to move for the door.  


“Captain don’t-“  


“Jim!” Spock and Bones both cried out to him, before receiving harsh blows from their captors to silence them.  


“Keptin?” Chekov questioned uncertainly.  


“Ready the transporter.” Jim said again, and exited the bridge.  
Scotty met him in the transporter room, covered in grit and very agitated.  


“Captain, you canna just do what he wants! If you go over there he’ll kill you!” Scotty clasped a hand on Jim’s shoulder to halt him.  


“And if I don’t go he’ll kill Bones and Spock. I don’t have a choice.” He shrugged off Scotty’s hold and moved onto the transporter. “Now do as I say or I’ll find someone who will.” Scotty stared at him a few moments longer wanting to protest before he sighed and headed to the controls.  


“Energize.” Jim said, and he was gone. 

Jim was immediately lead to the bridge where Carth was waiting for him. His gaze was drawn to Spock and Bones before anything else, they both nodded at him to indicate that they were unharmed. Jim was determined to keep it that way.  


“Ahh! Captain Kirk. Thanks so much for joining us.” Carth was quite an arrogant son of a bitch. He carried himself with ease throughout the bridge. He knew he was in complete control and Jim hated it.  


“Always a pleasure.” He responded sarcastically. In the back of his mind he was frantically trying to figure out a way out of this situation. There were two guards on Spock and Bones, two more at the door, someone manning the control panel, and Carth himself. It was unlikely they would be able to fight their way out of here. Who knew how many of Carth’s men were even aboard the ship.  


“Let’s get on with it then.” Kirk added impatiently. “What do you want.”  


“The Enterprise of course. But I already told you that. Right now, you’re going to tell your crew to allow the ship to be boarded by my men. They will surrender immediately and we will then begin to transfer them here. My men and I will take the Enterprise and be on our way, and you and your crew will be stuck on this ship and shot off into space.”  


“We’ll come after you, you must know that.”  


“See, I don’t think you will. For starters, you’ll be staying with me.”  


“Like hell I will.” Kirk interrupted. Carth just continued as if he hadn’t spoken.  


“In exchange for your cooperation, I’ll allow your crew to survive. You stay with me as my prisoner, and your crew can go free. If they try to pursue us, I’ll blow them to smithereens and then I’ll kill you. How does that sound?”  


Jim stood silently for a moment, his jaw clenched, his mind furiously working. He looked to his men, the two most important people in his life, his best friend and his heart. Carth followed his gaze and snapped his fingers. His guards drew phasers and aimed them at Bones and Spock’s heads. Jim’s stomach turned in knots.  


“Unless you want to be looking at two corpses instead of your friends here, I would suggest you agree.” Carth said wickedly. “Oh, and by the way. The Enterprise is about to run out of air. Your crew has about five minutes before they start to suffocate.” Jim quickly turned his attention back to the view screen; the sound clicked right back on.  


“Sulu?” Kirk called. The helmsman turned toward him.  


“Captain, our life support systems are completely down. We’re going to run out of air. There doesn’t appear to be anything we can do.”  


“Scotty-“  


“Is working as fast as he can.” Sulu assured him. “It won’t be fast enough.”  


“Get out of here. Leave us.” Kirk ordered but Sulu was already shaking his head. Chekov was the one to answer.  


“We can’t. We don’t have juice to power the thrusters. We would never reach warp, and without our shields, we’re completely vulnerable. We’re stuck Keptin.”  


Jim looked at his bridge crew, they were all looking to him for guidance, for him to save them. He turned and looked at Bones and Spock. Bones was shaking his head, he didn’t want Jim to give in to Carth but Jim didn’t see any other option. At last, he met Spock’s gaze. He could see in his eyes that surrender was the only way they would have a chance at survival. He could also see that Spock would rather die than let Jim remain a captive. He couldn’t let that happen.  


“Sulu, tell Scotty to prepare the transporter for arrivals. You’re to let Carth’s men board peacefully. Surrender immediately you understand?” Sulu looked shocked.  


“Yes captain.” He said solemnly. With that, the view screen cut to black. Carth clapped his hands happily.  


“Marvelous!” He exclaimed. “It’s much appreciated Captain.” He added with a wink. Kirk felt sick.  


“If anything happens to my crew I swear, you’ll regret ever laying eyes on me.” Jim declared with venom.  


“Save your threats Captain Kirk, you don’t intimidate me.” He turned to his guards. “Throw those two in the brig.” Just like that, Bones and Spock were taken out of his sight. Jim was struck with the realization that this may very well be the last time he sees either of them. At that moment, Spock looked over his shoulder and found Jim’s gaze. The look they shared was full of heartbreak, but at the same time it was an affirmation, a confirmation that they would always find each other again, no matter what.


	3. Chapter 3

The entire crew of the Enterprise was systematically beamed over to the Faragut with no loss of life. So far Carth had kept his promise to leave them unharmed, but Jim was not confident that they would remain so. It was almost surreal. Jim couldn’t quite believe that he was losing the Enterprise, his ship, his home. How had this happened so quickly? How had Carth managed it so easily? Jim didn’t believe in no win situations, and he was far from giving up, but he was slowly losing hope that he would find a way out of this.  
Spock and Bones had remained out of his sight since they had been taken to the brig. A secret part of Jim hoped beyond hope that he would get a chance to see them again before he was shipped off to be Carth’s personal prisoner. That seemed unlikely however, as Jim was ushered off the bridge with no less than four phasers trained on him. He walked behind Carth, seething at the arrogant swagger in the man’s walk and demeanor.

He could feel Spock around him like a second skin though, and he could sense that he was still unharmed. In the course of their relationship they had become so close that they could sense each other in a way similar to bonded pairs. They had melded many times over the years and that left a psychic connection lingering between them. As long as Jim could feel that tendril of Spock’s mind, he would know that he was okay. He hoped that distance wouldn’t weaken the bond between them, that no matter how far Carth took him, he would still be able to feel Spock, to know that he was alive and well. It was with that hope in mind that Jim was transported back aboard the Enterprise. 

Spock and Bones were left in the brig when Carth’s men finally left the Farragut to join their leader on the Enterprise. They had no idea where the other members of their crew were, or what had become of Jim. Spock could still feel Jim through their bond, but the link was not well established and he could ascertain little about Jim’s condition. In this moment, Spock wished fervently that they were officially and properly bonded. Not only would he be able to communicate with Jim, but he would be able to feel their telepathic connection across all ends of the galaxy. He would carry a piece of Jim’s essence with him, wherever he went. The idea had always appealed to him, ever since the beginning of their relationship, but he had never entertained the idea that it would be something that Jim wanted. Now that he knew, he cursed himself for not having agreed to it, Vulcan pride be dammed. With Jim’s life at stake, nothing else mattered. 

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me look for a way out?” Bones irritated voice broke through Spock’s train of thought. He had been standing in silence, sinking into his mind. Bones was moving about their cell, searching the walls pointlessly for some sort of escape.  
“There is no way out Doctor.” Spock said calmly. “This is a Starfleet issue ship, and therefore is equipped with the same containment technology as the Enterprise. With nothing but our bare hands, we are effectively trapped. There is nothing to do but wait.”  
“Well I can’t just stand here and do nothing! They’ve got Jim!” Bones was on his way to livid. “Dammit Spock how are you so calm?! Don’t you feel anything?!”  
“Feelings are illogical and unhelpful in this situation.” Spock recited the words almost robotically.  
“Fucking hell.” Bones’ rage rose and crested quickly. “I don’t know why, but that son of a bitch loves your sorry ass and now he’s in trouble and you’re standing here talking to me about logic and not feeling a damn thing for the man that gave himself up to save you!”  
Spock was suddenly crowding McCoy into the wall of their cell. His hands twitched to grab and hurt but he refrained.  
“Do not presume to know what I do or do not feel.” Spock’s words were ice cold. When his emotions were finally brought to the surface they were often intense and nearly uncontrollable. He was practically shaking with emotion as he glared at Bones, daring him to contradict him. Bones sighed and deflated immediately.  
“Look, I’m sorry. I know you love him. I just- I’m scared. He’s the only family I got.” Spock nodded his understanding and stepped away, his anger disappearing just as quickly. Bones sank onto the bench in their cell and put his head in his hands. He didn’t know what else to do. 

They spent another hour or so in silence, locked in a cell on an unfamiliar ship, travelling to who knows where. Then suddenly, without preamble, their cell opened and they were free to leave. They locked eyes for a moment before slowly moving to exit the cell. They were unarmed and completely vulnerable. They had no idea what was waiting for them outside the brig, or even outside their own cell. As they stepped into the hallway they realized that they were indeed alone in the brig. Where was the rest of the crew of the Enterprise? 

They made their way up to the bridge without encountering a single person. The ship was so quiet it was eerie, only the gentle hum of warp speed ensured that they were moving and not just floating in space. They had to stop the ship before they got even farther away from the Enterprise and Jim.  
The bridge was also empty, the system on autopilot. Spock quickly went to the helm and ascertained their location and trajectory.  
“We are currently travelling at Warp 3 toward a system outside the Federation. Carth has sent us in the opposite direction of the Enterprise.” 

“Well then turn us around! We have to go after them!” Bones came to look over Spock’s shoulder, impatience vibrating in his frame. 

“I cannot.” Spock said simply. “Our path is locked in. We will remain in warp for five more hours before I will be able to alter our trajectory.”  
“Dammit! There’s got to be something you can do, we’ll be halfway across this galaxy by then!” Bones began to pace. “God knows what they’re doing to Jim. We have to get him back Spock.” Spock was silent for a long while, focus on the controls in front of him. 

“The rest of the crew is locked on deck 15. We’ll have to go release the hatch manually. Other than that, I see no other signs of life.” Spock told Bones.  
“Alright, I’ll go get them.” Bones turned to leave the bridge. 

“We can’t go after Carth.” Spock said quietly. Bones whirled around to look at him incredulously. 

“What do you mean? Of course we’re going after him!” Bones temper was quick to rise. 

“They have Jim. Carth said he would kill him if we pursued and I’m inclined to take his word on that front.”

“So we do nothing?!” 

“No. But we cannot remain on this ship. We need a ship from outside of Starfleet’s jurisdiction, one that cannot be associated with us. And we will need a plan, a way to get close to the Enterprise without Carth realizing who we are and what we want.” Spock had turned to face Bones now and was trying to remain logical despite the emotions boiling just below the surface of his skin. Jim was in trouble, probably suffering, maybe being tortured just for sport, and Spock wanted nothing more than to turn and go after him as soon as possible. But he knew that would be unwise, that he would be unduly risking Jim’s life in the process. 

“That’s going to take ages! Where the hell are we going to get a different ship? Starfleet doesn’t just have unclassified ships on hand! Jim could be dead by then anyway!”  
“We cannot let our emotions cloud our judgement doctor. If we do not ‘look before we leap’ as you humans say, then Jim will surely die.” Bones stared at him angrily for another moment before shouting, 

“Goddamn that fucking asshole pirate!” He shook his head and turned away. Spock remained unmoved. 

“I’ll go get the rest of the crew. We’ll need everyone to get us out of this mess.” And with that, Bones was out the door and heading to deck 15.  
As soon as Spock was alone he allowed his shoulder to sag, just a little. He was on edge and exhausted at the same time; his heart ached where he could feel Jim’s absence, and his entire being buzzed with emotions he was struggling to suppress. He needed a clear mind, he needed focus, but he was in turmoil. He had decided to give Jim up, and now he had been taken from him before he was ready. Spock realized that he would never be ready, that he was a fool to think he could ever walk away from Jim. Now, he would stop at nothing to get him back. 

Jim had been alone for hours now, locked away in some random sleeping quarters. He supposed he should be grateful that he was being left alone, but he was starting to go stir crazy waiting for something to happen. He couldn’t feel Spock anymore. He knew it was probably no reason to be alarmed, it was just the distance between them most likely and not an indication that Spock was hurt or worse. Still, it was the first time in years Jim couldn’t feel the comfort of his presence in the back of his mind. He hadn’t realized he would feel its absence so tangibly. 

A beeping sound turned his attention toward the replicator as a fresh meal appeared from within. Jim had no control over anything in this room, not even the lights. He went over to see what Carth had selected for him and his heart clenched when he realized it was Spock’s favorite, Plomeek soup. Jim wasn’t a huge fan of Vulcan dishes, though he did live as a vegetarian now, but Plomeek soup had a special place in his heart. Spock told him once that it’s what his mother always made him when he was sick or upset. Now it served as a comfort to him, and a reminder of his mother’s warmth. How the hell had Carth known that?

Jim sat and ate, not knowing when he would be offered food again. He might as well keep up his strength. He knew that he would not remain in this relative comfort for long. Carth didn’t seem the type of man to treat his prisoners with mercy of any sort, probably he was just too busy at the moment to care about Jim. Or maybe this was all just part of some plan to psychologically torture him. Make him feel comfortable before ripping it all away. Conjuring up memories of Spock to remind him of what he’d lost. There was no way of knowing at this point. Jim thought of his crew and hoped fervently that they were safe and that they weren’t foolheartedly chasing him down. 

When the Farragut finally left warp, they were far outside the bounds of the Federation. That was a good thing however, because they needed a ship from outside the Federation.  
“I still don’t see how we’re going to get a ship. We don’t have any credits, and we have no authority this far out.” Uhura said from her seat on the bridge. Sulu, Chekov and Bones all nodded their agreement.  
“We will have to steal one.” Spock said calmly. Uhura’s mouth dropped open.  
“Who are you and what have you done with Spock?” Uhura questioned. Bones scoffed out a laugh.  
“Stealing is simply our most logical option. We do not have the time to acquire a ship in any other way. Besides, I am certainly willing to break a few rules for the sake of someone I care about.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. Uhura just smiled broadly at him.  
“Let’s go steal a ship!”


	4. Chapter 4

While the crew worked on locating and tracking a suitable ship, there was not much to do in the way of planning until they knew what sort of ship they would be hijacking. Bones was finally able to get Spock to leave the bridge and find quarters somewhere to get some rest. Spock knew that sleep would not find him, not without Jim by his side, so he settled down on the floor of the first officer’s quarters to meditate. 

His mind drifted to Jim, as it usually did when he first began to meditate and calm his mind. He thought about what could be happening to Jim right now, but quickly banished the thought as it only served to increase his heart rate and blood pressure. He needed to relax, to regain some energy, and with it, some clarity. He let his mind wander back to better days, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to force Jim out of his mind if he tried. He thought back to before they had become what they are now, to the night when everything had finally come spilling to the surface. 

They had been playing chess in sick bay, Jim laid out on a hospital bed, injured from their last away mission. There had been a horrible few moments where Spock thought he was going to lose him, when his whole world seemed on the edge of falling apart. Luckily Scotty had managed to get them aboard and Bones had gone to work, stopping the bleeding and sealing up Jim’s wounds as if they had never existed. 

“I’m sorry.” Jim said quietly, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen around them as they played. Spock looked up and merely raised an eyebrow in response. 

“For scaring you like that. I’m sorry. I don’t do this to myself on purpose.” Spock gave him a dubious look, not quite knowing how to deal with the sudden heavy atmosphere. Jim just smiled and shook his head, reaching out to make his next move. Unpredictable, as usual, Spock thought with mild frustration. 

“I love you, you know.” Jim said even more quietly. Spock froze, a hard lump forming in his throat. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, I just thought you should know.” He nervously fingered the frayed edge of his hospital gown, not meeting Spock’s eyes. Spock stared at him in stunned silence, his heart pounding in his chest and his blood roaring in his ears. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, to do anything. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard, had never thought to imagine that Jim could return his feelings.

“It’s your turn.” Jim said after a long silence. He seemed to have taken Spock’s lack of response as a rejection, and it pained Spock to see how easily he accepted it. 

“Jim.” Spock murmured, not sure what else he was going to say. They locked eyes for a long moment and he hoped that Jim could see through him, see past his Vulcan stoicism and into his soul. Jim smiled lightly and it gave Spock courage. 

“I- I feel the same. Illogical though it may be.” Jim reached out and ran two fingers across the back of Spock’s hand and every nerve within him came alive.   
“Okay.” Jim said smiling, returning his hand to his lap. “Good.” 

Fast forward a few days to when Jim was released from sick bay. Spock was of course there, ready to escort him back to his quarters and make sure he didn’t go back to work for the rest of the day. Jim of course, grumbled the whole time that he was fine and perfectly capable to head back to the bridge. 

When they arrived in Jim’s room and the door sealed shut behind them the atmosphere was suddenly loaded with tension. Spock swallowed audibly and stood with his hands clasped behind his back as Jim made his way into the kitchen. 

“Tea?” He asked over his shoulder. When their eyes met, Spock nodded slightly. He felt guilty at the prospect of Jim waiting on him, but he seemed to be moving around with ease. When the tea was ready Jim brought over a cup and handed it to Spock, their fingers brushing in the process. Neither moved, both frozen and staring at the point of contact between them. 

“Spock.” Jim whispered, not moving to pull his hand away even though Spock clearly had a hold on the cup. He took a step closer as Spock lifted his gaze to his face. They stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity, a whirlwind of emotions playing through the connection between their fingers. Finally, the dam broke. Before either of them knew what was happening they were kissing. Spock’s lips drawn to Jim’s by some invisible force. 

Spock’s arms were suddenly locked around Jim’s back, the tea completely forgotten. He was jolted back to reality by the sound of the cup shattering on the floor. He stared at it stunned, disbelieving that he had actually forgotten that he’d been holding something. 

“I’m sorry-“ Spock started to say as he moved to step back from Jim, but Jim held onto him tight, his arms around Spock like a vice. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Jim said earnestly. He reached up and ran his fingers across Spock’s cheek, moving to cup the side of his face in his hand. Spock leaned into the touch without meaning to. “I can’t believe this is real, that I finally get to touch you.” Jim’s voice had taken on a tinge of awe. Spock could feel that awe radiating from Jim’s fingertips. He couldn’t even begin to formulate a response, so instead he leant down and captured Jim’s lips once again. 

Nothing could have prepared Spock for the intensity of this feeling, for the sheer bliss of Jim’s lips on his own. He had kissed before, but never had it been like this. He felt like he was being pulled apart and put together at the same time. He gripped Jim’s waist tightly and held on for dear life as Jim opened his mouth to him. Their kiss quickly grew hungry, their breathing picking up rapidly until Jim had to break away to suck in a few gasping breaths. Spock immediately latched onto Jim’s neck, unwilling to take his mouth off of him for even a second. There was a hunger growing deep within his gut, a need that normally would’ve frightened him. Instead, he embraced it, let the feelings wash over him as Jim ran his hands all over him. 

When Jim’s cool hand snuck under the hem of Spock’s shirt and pressed into his back he hissed out a breath that was dangerously close to a moan. Every inch of his skin was sensitive, every nerve alive and on fire. He needed more. Jim seemed to be in a similar state. He was panting against Spock’s mouth, his hands roving under Spock’s shirt, lifting to hike it up over his head and throw it aside. He paused to quickly get rid of his own shirt before pulling Spock back to him, moaning as their bare chests made contact for the first time. 

This was a million times better than he had imagined it. Better than anything that Jim had ever felt. He was drowning in Spock and he didn’t want to come up for air. Desire and need curled in his gut, hot and heavy between his legs. He couldn’t think, could only feel. Somehow they started gravitating towards the bed. When the back of his knees made contact, Jim allowed himself to fall unceremoniously back onto the mattress. Spock hovered over him, eyes raking down his body, stopping briefly at the visible bulge in his pants. When he met Jim’s gaze again, his eyes were on fire, completely ablaze with lust and Jim couldn’t help but moan. 

Spock dropped open mouthed kisses on his chest, stopping briefly to pay extra attention to Jim’s nipples. He was amazed by the human underneath him, by the way his chest heaved and he squirmed with pleasure under Spock’s touch. He couldn’t believe that he could make someone feel this way, that he could make Jim feel this way. Spock was getting high on the rush. 

He made his way slowly down Jim’s body, wanting to know every inch of him. When he reached the waist band of Jim’s pants he took a moment to look up at Jim for confirmation.

“Please yes. Get them off me.” Jim breathed desperately. He lifted his hips as an invitation for Spock to pull his pants and boxers down in one go. He kicked them off his feet while Spock stared in wordless hunger at his erection, straining up toward his stomach. No one had ever stared at Jim like this before. He was laid completely bare, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. He felt like Spock was taking him apart with his gaze. 

“Yours too.” He whispered to Spock. Spock seemed mesmerized by Jim’s naked form, but this request seemed to break through the haze. Spock stood and with unsteady hands, slid the rest of his clothes down to the floor. Jim sucked in a breath at the sight of him, hair disheveled, face and chest flushed a pale green, cock hard and throbbing with arousal.

“God, you’re beautiful.” Jim breathed, drinking in the view. Spock flushed a darker green at the compliment and wouldn’t meet Jim’s eyes. Jim resolved right then and there to compliment this man so much he was no longer made uncomfortable by it. Jim would tell Spock he was beautiful until the Vulcan believed it himself. 

“Come here.” Jim said, and Spock crawled into the bed, laying on his side to face Jim. Jim pulled him into his arms and kissed him deeply, their bodies finally pressed together with nothing between them. When Jim hooked a leg around Spock’s and brought their erections sliding together, Spock broke away from the kiss with a gasp. The sensation was overwhelming. Jim just smirked in that arrogant way of his that Spock secretly loved. 

They set into a rhythm, just thrusting against each other, their cocks rubbing wetly between them. Jim felt like he was going to explode from the pleasure of it, and from the knowledge that it was Spock making him feel this way. Their tempo picked up and suddenly Spock pushed Jim on his back and got on top, rutting against him fervently. Somehow it got even better. Jim moaned out his encouragement, hands gripping Spock’s ass and pulling him tighter against him. He reached a hand between them and managed to wrap his fingers around them both. Soon Spock’s hand joined his and together they were thrusting into their joint fists. 

This was not going to last long. Spock was trembling above him, his breath coming in short gasps as he thrusted with reckless abandon. Jim was out of his mind with pleasure, shaken to the core at seeing Spock come undone like this. They were panting into each other’s mouths, the sounds of their slick bodies coming together filling the room. Jim could feel his orgasm pooling in his gut, building and making its way to the surface. 

“Spock! I’m- ungh- I’m going to-“ Jim couldn’t quite form the words. And then he was coming. Shooting hot bursts into their hands, his entire body engulfed in white hot pleasure. Spock continued to rut against him as he rode out his orgasm, his movements becoming increasingly more frantic. 

“That’s right,” Jim encouraged him. “Let go. Come for me.” Spock shuddered violently, his body pushing harshly against Jim’s as he came. Jim watched his face, completely enraptured. All the air seemed to leave Spock in a single gust and he dropped weightlessly against Jim. Jim wrapped his arms around him and dropped light kisses into his hair, holding him as they came down from the high. 

“How do you feel?” Jim asked quietly after a few minutes. He was gently running his hands up and down Spock’s back. His tone was casual, but Spock sensed the underlying tension, the uncertainty. Jim still didn’t understand. Spock pushed up and looked down into Jim’s open face. There was such tenderness and affection there that Spock had to swallow back the emotion rising within him. He didn’t have the words to convey his feelings to Jim, didn’t know what to say to make him realize that he was everything to Spock. Instead of trying to speak, he slowly reached up and placed his fingers on Jim’s psi points. He waited for Jim’s nod of consent before initiating a meld between them. 

Jim’s world exploded into gold and blue. He could see and feel through Spock, every lingering gaze, every fear, every desire, laid bare for Jim to experience. He could sense Spock’s longing, his desperation, the years he spent trying to bury his feelings, to be more Vulcan and less human. Spock’s love was deep and profound and unlike anything Jim had ever known. Most of all was the overwhelming sense of rightness that overcame him. This is exactly where they were meant to be, exactly where they would always end up, together. 

 

Spock came back to himself reluctantly. He didn’t want to face this reality where Jim was gone and Spock was helpless to reach out to him. A tear slid silently down his cheek and he reached up to touch it curiously. He hadn’t cried since the loss of his mother, and before that only when he was a child. His body didn’t often allow emotion to leak out of him in such a physical way, but he felt Jim’s absence like an ache in his chest, threatening to overcome him. 

His body was much too hot. He was burning up, overwhelmed by his grief and fear so much so that his body shook from it. What was happening to him? Spock tried to bring himself back under control but found that he could not push these feelings away. His thoughts were spinning out of control, Jim’s face bright in his mind. That was the last thought he had before everything went black. 

“Dammit Spock!” Bones was leaning over Spock’s body where he had crumpled unconscious to the floor. “Come on, wake up!” Bones pleaded as he ran his hands over Spock, searching for damage. His skin was hot to the touch, even for a Vulcan, but Bones had no medical supplies on him at the moment and was unable to even take his temperature. Spock’s pulse was slowing down under Bones fingers which was a relief. Whatever had happened, Spock seemed to be coming out of it. His eyes flickered and he began to stir. 

“Spock? Can you hear me?” Bones spoke louder than normal, giving Spock a light shake as he did so. 

“Quite clearly doctor, your voice is decibels over a comfortable range.” He cracked his eyes up and tried to raise an eyebrow, not quite sure if he managed it or not. 

“Cheeky bastard.” Bones quipped, but he couldn’t hide his grin. Spock slowly sat up and leant back against the side of the bed, Bones was crouching beside him. “Alright ya hobgoblin, what the hell just happened?” 

“I do not know.” Spock answered honestly. Bones stared at him and waited for him to elaborate. Spock held his gaze evenly and Bones would’ve almost said he sighed before continuing. “I was meditating, and then I became… hot.” He finished lamely. He didn’t know how to describe what happened to him, and he was reluctant to try and talk to McCoy about his outpouring of feelings. 

“You became hot?” Bones said skeptically. “That’s it?” Spock looked away for a moment before speaking. 

“And quite… agitated.” 

“Agitated…” Bones repeated. Spock actually did sigh this time and turned to face the doctor. 

“Are you just going to repeat what I say or are you going to offer some insight?” 

“You’re not exactly giving me much to go on here!” Bones replied indignantly. He was a good doctor dammit, a great one even. “Now let’s get you to the sick bay and we’ll see what we’re working with.” 

“I assure you I am perfectly well.” Spock lied calmly. 

“I don’t want to hear it!” Bones grabbed Spock by the arm and helped him stand, not mentioning the fact that he had to steady Spock in the process. “Sometimes I think you’re even more stubborn than Jim.” Bones shook his head, leading Spock from the room. 

“Perhaps we have rubbed off on each other.” Bones stopped and stared at him. The corner of Spock’s mouth gave a barely perceptible twitch and Bones could’ve sworn he was making a joke. He huffed out a short laugh and continued moving, guiding Spock out of the room and toward sick bay. 

“Well,” Bones began, “Your temperature is too high, but it seems to be levelling out. Same with your blood pressure.” Spock nodded and moved to stand up. 

“I feel well doctor, thank you.” Bones was clearly at a loss, and slightly frustrated. 

“I want to keep an eye on this you hear me? I’ve never even seen you so much as sneeze. I don’t know much about Vulcan anatomy but I know this isn’t normal. Tell me right away if you experience any other symptoms.”

“As you wish.” Spock said stiffly and headed out of sick bay, his mind ill at ease. He had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what was happening to him, and if he was right, he was only going to get worse.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim had known that his relatively peaceful time as Carth’s prisoner would come to an end, but he hadn’t anticipated this. After that first day Jim was regularly injected with a drug that made him weak and pliant, the days blurred together and he lost the ability to keep any track of time. His thoughts were muddled and his limbs heavy, but he could still feel, and he was there enough to realize what was happening to him. Carth and his men came through Jim’s room in turns, sometimes to beat him, sometimes just to humiliate him. He was completely unable to resist or fight back regardless of being unbound. 

During his moments of clarity, he cursed himself for not being able to resist this drug. He could clearly remember everything that had happened, especially the way he just placidly took whatever they doled out. He wanted to fight back, he wanted to resist. Instead, he was just letting these men kick and punch and cut him, without so much as a token word of protest. God, he was so frustrated, and tired, and angry. His body ached, covered in bruises and shallow cuts. There were no significant injuries yet, the wounds were probably just more to show him that they could, that he was completely powerless. 

Worse than the beatings was the humiliation. Carth’s men would come in groups and push him around, taunting him. They stripped him bare and urinated on him, in his face and mouth. They took videos and pictures. They touched him, tied him up and jacked off over his prone form. He had regained control of himself hours later, their emissions dried and crusted to his body. He took a long hot shower, desperate to get their smell and touch off him. He couldn’t stop the tears from continuously falling from his eyes. He missed Spock with a fierceness that he could hardly bear, felt his absence like a hole in his chest, a punch to the gut. He wished Spock were with him, that Spock could replace the phantom touches of those men with the firm comforting touch of his own hands. 

He often turned his thoughts to Spock, despite the pain of not having him there. It was his only comfort when things were completely beyond his control. He tuned out the taunts of Carth’s men and pictured Spock’s face, his gentle smile, the rare sound of his uninhibited laughter. He held onto those memories like a lifeline. He prayed that Spock and his crew would not come after him, that they would not risk themselves for his sake, but he couldn’t help but hope that they would. He longed to see them again, to be surrounded by the ones he loved, to be saved. He had never imagined himself as someone who would ever need rescuing, confident that he could overcome any situation, but this time, this time he felt hopeless, weak, and in desperate need of help. 

 

Ten days after Jim was taken, it was finally time to steal a ship. They had struggled to find a suitable ship in the area, and also with the logistics of taking control of it mid-flight, with no loss of life. Today was the day however, and Spock and the crew were eager to get things underway. Every day Jim spent a prisoner, Spock felt him slipping farther and farther away. His fever had not lifted, but instead was steadily getting worse. He was tired, irritable, and frustrated. He bristled more and more every minute that passed where they did not get closer to rescuing Jim. He was pushing the rest of the crew away, isolating himself, growing more distant every day. Bones took his temperature regularly and tried to get Spock to talk to him about his symptoms (physical and mental), but Spock remained aloof and cold. Bones was very concerned at this point, still unsure what could be ailing him. 

Regardless of all that, Spock was going to board the ship himself, fully intent on capturing this ship as quickly as possible. Bones had tried to argue with him about this, that he wasn’t well enough to fight if it came to that, but Spock would not be moved. Uhura seemed to know that something was wrong with Spock, but so far she had yet to bring it up. Spock wondered how long that would last, but found that he didn’t really care in the least. He didn’t care about anything but getting Jim back. 

In the transporter room, Spock and Sulu prepared to be beamed aboard. The goal was to get inside undetected and shut down some crucial systems within the ship’s mainframe. Uhura would initiate contact, inform them of their situation, and hopefully intimidate them sufficiently for them to surrender. Once they boarded a full security team, Spock would oversee the peaceful capture of the ship’s entire crew and then beam them all onto the Farragut. The Enterprise crew would then board the stolen vessel, and the remaining Farragut crew would take their prisoners back into Federation airspace and call for aid. There was no doubt the Spock would face repercussions for these actions, but he was confident that Starfleet would assist with returning and compensating the prisoners they were about to take. 

Scotty was busy at work at the controls of the transporter room. He had to transport them undetected into a part of the ship that was uninhabited but close to engineering. They had to make sure that their boarding was not noticed so that they could avoid a fire fight. 

“It’s ready.” Scotty called to Spock and Sulu. They stepped onto the transporter pad and prepared to be beamed aboard. 

“Be careful you two.” Bones said gruffly, clearly worried but not wanting to show it. “I don’t want to have to do any patching up today.” He added in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. Spock gave him a short nod before indicating to Scotty that they were ready. Within seconds, Spock could feel the ground disappearing from underneath him. 

Spock and Sulu reappeared in an undercarriage of the vessel they intended to steal. There was an air duct in this room that would take them directly into the engineering section. As far as they could tell, there was no surveillance in this portion of the ship and they should be able to move about freely without raising the alarm. Still, they both ducked behind a storage container as soon as their feet were firmly on the ground, cautiously checking their surroundings for crew members. 

A bead of sweat dripped from Spock’s brow and he wiped it away impatiently. He was burning up, his hands shaking slightly. He tried to hide his discomfort from Sulu but could see the concern on his face as Spock swayed slightly. Spock decided to ignore it and signaled for Sulu to move for the duct. Sulu hesitated for a moment, clearly wanting to say something, before deciding against it and heading toward their goal. Sulu stood with his back to the grate, keeping an eye out as Spock worked on removing the paneling. Within seconds they were crawling into the duct, Sulu pausing to reattach the panel to the wall. 

They crawled silently, senses alert and tuned to everything around them. It was crucial that they did not alert anyone to their presence before they were able to disable the ships defenses and weapons systems. This was not a battle ship in any sense of the word, but it was e quipped with basic shields and firepower. The Farragut could easily win if it came to a fight, but they needed this ship undamaged. 

When they reached the opening to engineering, they removed the grate and dropped silently into the room, immediately ducking for cover. They held their breath, hoping that no one noticed their entrance. So far so good. Sulu glanced around the console they were behind, trying to get a look at the layout of the room. He gestured for Spock to be quiet and follow him. They moved swiftly to another console about fifteen meters away. Spock saw at least two crew members while they moved, both with their backs to Spock and Sulu. He indicated to Sulu that he saw them, and Sulu pointed to the other side of the room where there was a third crew member. 

The first two men appeared to be working, moving about slightly, their hands flickering over the controls. The third wasn’t doing much of anything, perhaps standing guard, although he was slouching back in a chair, eyes focused on some handheld device. Spock signaled for Sulu to stay put while he began to inch toward the man in the chair. Spock approached him slowly and silently from behind. He didn’t want to draw the attention of the other two men. When he was directly behind him, Spock lunged forward quickly, grabbing the man’s neck in a Vulcan nerve pinch. The man crumpled and Spock held him up, then silently lowered him to the floor and pulled his body out of sight. 

The other two men were taken out with similar efficiency. One with another nerve pinch, the other with a swift blow to the head, courtesy of Sulu. Spock immediately got to work on the console. 

“Sulu to Farragut.” Sulu said into his communicator. 

“Uhura here.” 

“We’re in engineering, currently working on disabling the systems. Shouldn’t be too long now. Tell Scotty to be ready to beam us back.” 

“Copy that.” 

Sulu moved to a different control panel to work on disabling their warp capabilities while Spock took care of the shields and weaponry. Spock was starting to lose focus, he swayed on his feet, the controls in front of him blurring together. He was so hot. He gripped the console tightly to steady himself, trying to regain control. Sulu’s focus remained on his own task, but he was close to finishing. 

“Warp is disabled.” Sulu said a moment later, turning to face Spock. “Spock?” Alarm colored his voice and he was suddenly beside him. 

“I-” Spock attempted to speak but was unable to get the words out. His vision was beginning to black out. Sulu reached out to catch him before Spock even realized he was falling.

“Shit.” Sulu cursed, lowering Spock to a sitting position. Suddenly alarms started blaring. “Shit!” Sulu began working furiously at finishing what Spock had started. He could hear the pounding of approaching footsteps. They had seconds to get out of here. He finished shutting down their systems just as a shout sounded across the room and a phaser blast exploded just above his head. Sulu ducked immediately, pulling out his phaser and returning fire. He fumbled for his communicator.

“Scotty get us out of here!” He shouted, throwing the communicator aside. He stood quickly and let off a few more shots. The guards were closing in on them and Spock was now completely unconscious. Time seemed to slow as Sulu turned and found himself directly in the path of the phaser, he closed his eyes and turned toward Spock just as the shot was fired. He braced himself for the impact, but instead he felt the room dissipate around him. He sagged with relief when he found himself back aboard the Farragut. 

“Dammit!” Bones yelled, rushing to Spock. Running a tricorder over him quickly. “What the hell happened?!”

“I don’t know! He just collapsed!” Sulu backed away to give Bones some space. Scotty came to stand beside him, looking down on the scene with concern. 

“Call for a stretcher. I need to get him to sick bay.” Bones told them and Scotty hastened to comply. Spock was still unconscious when Nurse Chapel arrived with a stretcher, but his heart rate was evening out and he was breathing steadily. 

Back in the sick bay, Bones set Spock up with an IV of some fluids and vitamins that were beneficial to Vulcans. He retreated to his office once he was sure that Spock was in a stable condition and set about to do some research. He would’ve called Uhura down to ask her some questions considering her familiarity with Vulcan culture in general, but she had more important things to do. They were in the midst of stealing a ship for god’s sake. Of course Spock would choose the worst possible moment to collapse. Bones trusted his crew to have everything under control, and hoped that everything would move smoothly. He couldn’t afford to leave sick bay now, not with Spock in this condition. He had to figure out what was wrong with him, and quickly. 

“You don’t have many options here.” Uhura said calmly to the captain of the other vessel. She had been in communication with him since Spock and Sulu had beamed back aboard. She spoke their language flawlessly. 

“You can cooperate with us, and you will be compensated for your trouble, or you can resist, and we can take what we want with force. We will easily overpower you.” Her stance was calm but just threatening enough to get the message across. She was confident and in command and it was honestly impressive to behold. 

The captain on the view screen in front of her was shaking his head in dismay and frustration. He turned to the man on his right and said something inaudible. The man nodded and the captain sighed in return. 

“It seems you leave us with no choice.” He said with resignation. “But know this, you have just made an enemy of the Federation.” 

“We are not acting under orders of the Federation or Starfleet. Do not let our actions reflect on them.” Uhura urged him. 

“Your uniform says otherwise.” The captain shot back. “We are ready for you to board.” And the communication was cut off. Uhura sighed. She was relieved that they were surrendering peacefully, but worried about the repercussions of this theft. Well, they would deal with that when the time arose. Now they needed to focus on getting this ship and getting after Jim. 

 

Jim was in a haze. The days passed with no meaning, he didn’t even know when day and night were, his lights shut on and off beyond his control. He had no control anymore. Not when and what he ate, when he slept, what he wore, when he showered and if it would be sonic or water. He was completely caught in Carth’s strings, living at the whim of his puppet master. He was already too skinny, and his skin was marred with bruises, new and old, as well as the scabs of shallow cuts. The long term effects of the drug he was regularly exposed to were starting to make themselves known. He constantly felt as though he were in a fog, his brain unable to hold on to complicated trains of thought. He was losing time, occasionally blacking out when under the drugs influence. He was tired and weak all the time, no matter how he slept he could not regain his strength. He was slowly and systematically being broken down, and there was nothing he could do about it.


	6. Chapter 6

“Well shit.” Boned mumbled to himself. His research could lead him to only one conclusion about Spock’s condition, and it was not a good one. The fever was growing worse, and from what Bones could discern, that meant that Spock did not have much time. He was going through Pon Farr, was probably already in the final stages of Plak Tow, or the “blood fever”. Vulcans were notoriously tight lipped about such things, and so the information Bones was able to gather was limited at best. What he was able to discern however, was that if Spock didn’t get to Vulcan and get a mate, he would die. The other option appeared to be some sort of ritual fight to the death, but Spock was already much too sick for that. Bones just hoped he could keep Spock alive until they got him to New Vulcan. 

The crew of the Enterprise were all safely aboard their stolen vessel at this point, the crew of the Farragut well on their way to Federation territory with their newly acquired passengers. Bones cursed himself for allowing Spock to be moved, he should’ve stayed on the Farragut and been taken straight into Federation space. Now they were even farther away from where Spock needed to be; it had already been a week since they stole this ship.

Spock came to in a haze of heat and confusion. His surroundings were blurry and foreign. What happened? He tried to grab unto his most recent memories, but they were blurry as well. He and Sulu had gone aboard the vessel they were planning to steal… had they been successful? Is that where he was right now? He tried to take in more of his surroundings; it was so bright. He squinted against what he realized now were harsh hospital lights. So a sick bay then. God, he was so hot. Hotter than he had ever been. It made it hard to concentrate. A part of his brain was able to register that he was entering Plak Tow, that meant he didn’t have much longer then. He was surprised to find that the prospect of his imminent death wasn’t at all frightening. He only wished that Jim was with him. 

“Spock?” A familiar voice called, footsteps bringing them closer. 

“Doctor?” Spock asked tentatively. He closed his eyes and fought to get his thoughts in order. Bones breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Damn stubborn hobgoblin.” He said without malice. “Why didn’t you tell me? You had to have known what was happening to you!” Spock said nothing, he didn’t have a good answer for that. Bones just shook his head in exasperation. 

“Whatever, doesn’t matter now I suppose. We’re on our way to New Vulcan so just hang in there.” Spock’s eyes shot open at that. 

“No!” Bones froze in shock at his outburst. Spock sighed and attempted to regain his composure. The fever was making it exceedingly difficult. 

“We have to continue after Jim.” 

“Are you crazy? Do you have a death wish or something?” Bones said incredulously. “You’ll be dead before we even reach him!” 

“So be it.” Spock said calmly. “I am unwilling to leave Jim in the hands of that man for even a second longer than necessary.” 

“Look, I want to get Jim back just as much as you do, but you know he wouldn’t want that. He would kill me if I let you sacrifice yourself for him!” Spock said nothing. 

“Jim is a tough son of a bitch. He’ll be alright. He has to be.” Bones said softly. “If we don’t get you to New Vulcan you will die, no question about that. Jim can hold out a little longer.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He loves you, you idiot. Don’t force him to live without you.” 

“And yet, that is what you ask of me.” 

Bones sighed and sank into the chair beside Spock’s bed, his head falling into his hands. How could he make this decision? He understood where Spock was coming from, he really did. He wanted Jim back as much as anyone, but he didn’t want to risk Spock’s life like this. It was more than risking his life really, it was almost ensuring his death. Bones didn’t know the particulars of this Plak Tow thing but he was a good doctor and he knew his patient, and that meant he knew that Spock didn’t have much time left. How could he ever face Jim again if he allowed Spock to die? 

“Please doctor.” Spock said quietly. He had no other argument left to make, and not enough strength to do so regardless. 

“You’re going to die Spock.” Bones said into his hands. He looked up and met Spock’s cool gaze. “I don’t know when, but I know it’s going to be soon.” Spock nodded slightly, a confirmation. 

“If you can keep my temperature down as much as possible, it will prolong my life.” Spock told him. 

“Yeah? For how long? Days?” Spock gave a small shrug and Bones almost smiled to see such a human gesture coming from the Vulcan. 

“It might be enough.” Spock replied. 

“You’re insane.” 

“That may be true doctor. Turn this ship around.” Bones shook his head and got to his feet. 

“You’re sure you want to take this risk?” Bones asked. 

“Yes.” Spock said simply. Bones held his gaze for a long moment, and Spock looked steadily back. Sighing again, Bones turned to the wall console. 

“McCoy to bridge.” 

“Bridge here.” Uhura’s voice returned. 

“Tell Sulu to reroute us. We’re going after Jim.” 

“But, what about Spock? I thought he needed-“

“Just do it.” McCoy cut her off. “Come talk to him yourself if you want.” 

“I’ll be down shortly.” 

Spock sighed deeply. He knew trying to convince Nyota would be even more difficult than the doctor. Nevertheless, it was a conversation he was apparently going to have to have. He closed his eyes in relief when he felt the slight ship in trajectory of the ship. Sulu had done it, they were back on their way to Jim, his Jim. 

 

Spock remained in sick bay while McCoy worked to keep his temperature at manageable levels. His fever continued to worsen, but not nearly as rapidly as it had been. Spock spent a lot of time sleeping, but he was still alert when he was awake and he meditated whenever possible in an attempt to hold on to his mental faculties. He knew that soon; the fever would overtake him and he would no longer be capable of rational thought. Before the fever killed him, it would drive him insane. 

Days passed this way. Each one bringing Spock closer and closer to Jim, and at the same time, death. He didn’t have much more left in him other than to fervently hope that he would be able to see Jim’s face again before he died. He wanted to look into those eyes one more time, to know that Jim was alive and well and at his side. 

 

It was weeks before they finally got a lock on Carth’s ship and were close enough to keep on his tail. They were back in Federation space, but far from any Starfleet base. They wouldn’t be able to call for backup, no one would be able to reach them in time if something went wrong. Well, they were prepared for that possibility, and it wasn’t going to stop them from attempting to save their captain. 

There was no way of knowing if Carth still had Jim onboard the Enterprise, or if Jim was even still alive. The chances were good however, Carth needed Jim to keep Starfleet off his back. If Jim continued to answer when Starfleet called, and file reports, then no suspicions would be raised. The Enterprise often went long periods of time without having to communicate with Starfleet. The team hadn’t alerted Starfleet of the situation themselves because they couldn’t take the chance that Carth would catch wind of it. As soon as Starfleet knew that the Enterprise was compromised, Carth would have no use for Jim and would likely kill him. That’s why it was crucial to mount this rescue mission as soon as possible. Not to mention Spock’s condition had taken a turn for the worse. He was barely conscious anymore and deteriorating rapidly. They had to move quickly. 

Scotty was the mastermind behind the plan to retake the Enterprise. He knew that ship better than anyone after all, better than even Jim probably. It was helpful that they knew exactly what they were walking into as well. They knew how many men were onboard, as well as how many weapons, the security system and protocols in place, and the location of all the main controls. As long as they maintained the element of surprise, they had a really good chance of getting through this without a hitch. 

Because of the nature of the vessel they had stolen, it was an easy thing to approach the Enterprise. They sent out a signal as if they were a cargo ship contacting a Starfleet ship they had discovered in the area. They received the basic pre-programmed response from the Enterprise, in which they were asked to identify themselves. A yeoman was in control of their communication at this point in case Carth wanted a visual. They had to keep the main bridge crew out of sight because they would be recognized. 

Uhura, Bones, Sulu, and Scotty were in the transporter room, awaiting a signal to initiate their plan. They were all heavily armed. When it really came down to it, the plan was mostly to take out as many of Carth’s men as they could while Scotty systematically disarmed the entire ship. Basically, they were going to shoot and cross their fingers. 

“You’re good to go Commander Scott.” The young yeoman’s voice came through the intercom. Scotty went to work at the transporter controls. They were more primitive than he would’ve liked, but with the adjustments he made, they should be able to get the job done. They were going to beam aboard the Enterprise without alerting the computers sensors to their presence. 

“Well, here goes.” Scotty said, pressing the final button and stepping onto the platform with the others. He squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling of dematerializing. God, he hated being transported. When his eyes opened, he was deep in engineering aboard the Enterprise. Home, sweet home. Scotty breathed a sigh of relief. No alarms were going off. 

“Good work.” Sulu said, clapping a hand on Scotty’s back. Scotty flushed slightly at the praise, but shrugged like it was no big deal. Sulu just chuckled. 

“You’re a genius Scotty.” Uhura said. “Let’s go get our captain.” Everyone nodded and moved to follow Uhura as she headed stealthily toward the next room. 

Uhura and Sulu easily took out the two men they found at the main controls in engineering. Scotty immediately took their place and got to work. First things first, he locked down the bridge. No one would be able to get in or out. Hopefully Carth was on the bridge, that would make their lives significantly easier. Next, he took out the ships inner communications. No one would be able to alert the rest of the crew of their presence, and no one would be able to call for help. Without communication, they wouldn’t be able to organize very well the team would be able to take everyone out in small numbers. 

“Alright, let’s move.” Uhura said when Scotty was finished. They began to make their way to the bridge. Every once and a while they would come across a couple of Carth’s men, who had but a moment to be surprised before they were taken down courtesy of Sulu and Uhura. They had one more stretch of hallway before they reached the bridge when they heard footsteps approaching them quickly from behind. Someone must’ve realized that something was amiss; several someones by the sound of it. 

“Take cover.” Sulu said quickly, as they all moved to press themselves behind door frames and into the nooks and crannies that were built into the ship for this very reason. Shots were already flying in their direction. Clearly Carth’s crew had realized they were under attack. 

“Bones! Cover me!” Sulu shouted over the din. He was a few feet behind Bones, who was closest to their attackers.

“I’m a doctor dammit!” Bones cursed. “I’m not trained for this shit!” 

“Just stick your arm out and fire!” Sulu yelled. Uhura was returning fire from across the hallway. Bones cursed colorfully under his breath before doing as he was told. His aim was for shit anyway so he didn’t even bother to look, he just stuck his arm out and fired in what he hoped was the general direction of their foes. 

Sulu took that opportunity to move out from his cover and get a clear shot off. One of Carth’s men dropped to the floor with a heavy thunk. There were at least four more men still shooting. Sulu ducked back out of sight just as a shot blew by his head. Another shot struck millimeters from his shoulder and he could feel the heat of the blast. Uhura managed to take out another one of the men, but not without taking a shot in the arm. She pressed back against the wall with a shout, hand flying to her injured arm. 

“I’m alright!” She called, stopping Bones from leaving the relative safety of his position to come to her aid. “It’s just a flesh wound.” She grit her teeth and pushed the pain down. She had to focus. She stuck her head out and got a few more shots off. Over the sound of phasers, they could hear more running footsteps approaching. 

“There’s more a’comin’!” Scotty hollered. Sulu nodded and continued firing, trying to think of some sort of plan. There was no guarantee they could hold out here when they were so outgunned. His eyes fell on an airlock about halfway between them and Carth’s men. 

“The airlock.” Sulu said to Uhura. She looked and nodded, knowing what he was thinking immediately. They had to get farther down the hallway, to the other side of the emergency door that would seal them safely on the ship while Scotty opened the airlock, sending the other men out into space. 

“We have to get on the other side of that door.” Scotty called. 

“I’ll cover you; run.” Sulu said, before stepping out and firing. Bones and Scotty immediately ducked and made a run for it, keeping tight to the walls and getting behind the next available cover as quickly as possible. Uhura stepped out and fired as she ran to join them. Sulu followed close behind, firing over his shoulder as he ran. 

They were nearly safe behind the door when Sulu dropped to the ground with a groan. He was shot in the leg. Uhura screamed his name, running forward to grab him while Bones swore and fired wildly towards their enemies. He managed to hit one, but didn’t have a moment to take pride in it, as Uhura was dragging Sulu across the threshold. Scotty was tapping away frantically at a panel on the wall. Just as Sulu was fully inside, the door slammed shut and sealed off. Shots ricocheted off the steal door. 

Within moments they heard the telltale sign of the airlock opening, the vacuum of space sucking Carth’s men out of the Enterprise quicker than they could even scream. With a hiss, the airlock re-sealed.  
Scotty turned to see Uhura helping Sulu to his feet. Bones was on his knee, trying to get a closer look at the wound. 

“I’m fine.” Sulu said through gritted teeth. “Let’s keep moving.” Bones swore again and got back to his feet. It was no surprise to the rest of them that Bones had done nothing but curse sense they started this rescue mission. 

Without further hesitation, they stood in front of the door to the bridge, Scotty poised and ready to override the locking mechanism and open the door. Phasers raised and at the ready, Sulu nodded to Scotty. The door swung open and they stormed in, firing away. 

At least 15 people were on the bridge. The team was able to take down 8 of them before anyone could draw a weapon and return fire. They ducked behind the counters, Sulu and Uhura rolling to either side and rising to fire again, Sulu just on his good knee. Two more men dropped to the ground. Bones and Scotty fired into the fray, but soon, all four were engaged in hand to hand combat. 

Punches were thrown, hitting home on both sides. Bones took a hard hook to the jaw and was thrown back against a control panel. Uhura was swooping around, taking out her opponent with a kick of her leg. Sulu struggled against the hold of the man that had dove forward and grabbed him, his injured leg screaming in pain as he fought. Scotty managed to knock out his attacker and got another shot off with his phaser, hitting the man holding Sulu square in the back. He fell to the floor in a heap. 

“Stop this!” Carth’s voice rang out. The three men turned and froze. Carth had a hold of Uhura’s injured armed, a phaser pointed directly at her head. Her jaw was clenched in pain and rage, her eyes full of hate. 

“Put your weapons down or I’ll fry her pretty little head.” Carth was the only one left, the last man standing. 

“I’m so not in the mood for this.” Sulu deadpanned before raising a phaser and firing. The shot hit Carth right between the eyes, freezing the shocked expression on his face as he dropped to the ground. Uhura turned and looked at Carth’s body in disbelief, then to Sulu leaning against a console.

“Well that was anticlimactic.” Bones drawled. Scotty couldn’t keep a giggle from bubbling up and out. Soon they were all laughing.  
Scotty checked the computer and determined there was only one lifeform remaining on the ship. 

“It’s got to be the captain.” He told the others. They nodded in agreement and left the bridge.

Finally, over two months since he had been taken, they reached the room where Jim was being held. Scotty put in the override code quickly and stepped aside as the door slid open. Bones rushed inside. Jim laid in the bed, on top of the covers. He was pale and drawn, clearly unconscious. God, he looked terrible. Bones’ heart lodged itself in his throat as he quickly approached the bed and his best friend. He laid a hand on Jim’s shoulder.

“Jim?” He gave him a small shake, then moved his hand to Jim’s forehead. “Jim buddy, wake up.” Bones was reaching for his tricorder when Jim started to stir. His eyes flickered a few times before they focused on Bones’ face.

“Bones?” Jim broke through the haze.

“I’m here kid.” Bones reassured him, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. Jim looked around at his friends; they had come to rescue him. He was safe. Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura stood behind Bones and smiled at him, they had done it. 

“Where’s Spock?” Jim asked weekly. The look in his friend’s eyes said it all. “Take me to him.” 

 

Spock knew nothing but the fiery burn of his mind. His body was alight with it, the heat encompassing every part of him. He had recessed into the deepest parts of his mind, no longer aware of the world around him. Conscious thought alluded him. He simply floated through the flames, desperately searching for refuge. He was so hot. Everything was heat.  
In the distance, he could suddenly make out something, something other than the burning. Something blue and cool. He strained to get closer, to reach out and touch this relief. It was approaching him as well, enveloping him almost. Blue tendrils reached out and wrapped themselves around his mind, invading his consciousness. He had no will to resist. With the blue came relief, sweet, sweet relief. It was a cool stream over the scorched desert of his mind. Spock wanted to drink it in. Nothing had ever felt so welcome in his entire life. 

“Spock?” A voice broke through the abstract form his mind had taken. Spock grasped desperately at the blue, pulling it into his mind and holding it there. He tried to think. There was something familiar about that voice, about this blue. He knew it. 

“Spock?” The voice called again. Suddenly, Jim’s face came into focus in his mind’s eye. That blue; it stared back at him through Jim’s eyes. His Jim. 

“Jim?” His mind called back, still uncertain and confused. 

“Oh thank god. Yeah Spock, it’s me.” Jim’s tone was colored with relief. Spock used Jim’s presence to ground himself, to pull himself back to the forefront. 

“How is this possible? Am I-?” He stopped halfway. No, he wasn’t dead. But how? 

“I’m with you in sick bay. You’re back on the Enterprise. The crew got it back. Carth is dead.” Fierce satisfaction sang through Spock’s veins at that information. He was only disappointed that he hadn’t been able to kill the man himself. 

“You almost died Spock. How could you let this happen? Bones said you refused to go to New Vulcan, why would you do that?” Spock could sense Jim’s frustration. He was slowly coming back to himself. 

“I refused to delay your rescue. I could not allow you to suffer even a second longer than necessary.” 

“Always so noble…” Jim sighed in his mind. “Don’t you realize what would’ve happened to me if you had died? Because of me? I couldn’t go on like that Spock, I couldn’t.” 

“I thought after everything... I had to make sure that you at least survived.” Spock was referring to his decision to leave Jim to take a Vulcan mate, to give in to his father and do what his culture demanded.

“How could you think like that?” Jim was becoming angry. 

“Jim. Do you realize what is happening right now?” Spock’s brain was finally coming back to him when he came to this shocking realization. 

“Yeah.” Jim seemed… meek almost. 

“Jim-“ 

“I’m so sorry Spock.” Jim said in a rush. Wait, what? “I know this isn’t what you wanted but it was the only way to save your life!”

“Jim-“

“I know it’s selfish of me, that I couldn’t bear to lose you and so now you’re stuck with me, but I just couldn’t sit back and watch you die Spock, I couldn’t.” Jim thought that Spock would be upset? That he didn’t want to be bonded with him? Spock had to fix this. 

“Jim, stop.” Spock could feel his mind returning to consciousness. Jim’s mind started to pull back a little and Spock dug his metaphorical mental claws in. He would not allow Jim to slip away. He reached out with his mind and pulled Jim in deeper, further entwining them. Spock could feel Jim’s confusion, but he acquiesced, allowing Spock to pull him closer. 

When Jim had been brought to Spock’s side and reached out to touch him, he had initiated the bonding process. Spock’s mind would automatically latch onto his and use his essence to calm the fever raging within him. Being joined to Jim in this way was putting the air back in Spock’s lungs. He slowly opened his eyes. Jim was right there, sitting at his bed side, those blue eyes opening in tandem with his own. They stared wordlessly at each other, hands clasped tightly together, just feeling as their minds remained connected in the deepest of ways. 

“Jim.” Spock whispered aloud. The relief at seeing Jim there was almost too much. He frowned briefly at the wet feeling in the corner of his eyes. He was crying again, he realized with surprise. He didn’t even have the energy to feel ashamed at this display of emotion. He was overwhelmed. Staring into Jim’s eyes he could see moisture forming there as well. A tear dropped from the corner of his eye and made a wet trail down his cheek. Spock reached out to catch the tear with his fingers. Jim leaned into the touch. 

“I was a fool.” Spock said softly, his voice rough from disuse. “I could never be without you. You’ve always been my mate Jim, I apologize for not admitting it until now. I’m sorry it had to come to this.”

“Don’t apologize.” Jim said, reaching to hold Spock’s hand to his face. He smiled then, tears falling freely down his face. “God, I love you. I love you so much.” 

“My T’hy’la.” Spock smiled back. 

Their minds were essentially one now, the bonding process in full swing. As his body came back to consciousness Spock became aware of the piercing need within him. A different kind of heat began to spread through him, a desire so strong he could barely think of anything else. He needed to claim his mate, needed to solidify their bond, to ground it in something physical. Jim became aware of the change in mood almost immediately. His eyes darkened and Spock could feel his lust reflected back to him. He reached a hand out blindly for the console, not breaking eye contact with Spock. 

“Bones?”

“Yeah? Are you okay? Is he awake?” Bones voice came back immediately. 

“He’s awake. We’re fine. Make sure no one comes in here.” Heat surged through Spock in new waves at the realization of what Jim’s words implied. 

“What? Why? What’s going on?” 

“Just keep everyone out Bones. I mean it.” 

“Jim!” 

“Bones, we’re fine. About to be more than fine actually.”

“Ah Jesus Jim! Come on! Really?” 

“Just stay out.” 

“Ugh fine. Just- take it easy, you’re both in no state for physical activity.”

Jim smirked devilishly at Spock, his tongue coming out to wet his lips. Spock groaned at the sight. He was already well past desperate. 

“Jim- Please.” Spock could barely move. He was still too weak, but his body needed this, needed Jim. He was harder than he had ever been, Pon Farr bringing his carnal urges to the surface and demanding he take a mate. Jim’s mind could save his own, but he needed Jim’s body to heal his. 

Their minds connected in this way, the mindless lust of Pon Farr was seeping into Jim in hot waves. He climbed into the bed and straddled Spock, never breaking eye contact. He untied his hospital gown and let it fall from his body, tossing it aside carelessly. Spock’s eyes drank in the naked form before him, pupils blown wide. Jim reached down and pulled the gown away from Spock’s straining groin. Pre-come was flowing freely from the slightly green head. Jim ran his fingers through it, coating them. Spock’s entire body shuddered at the contact, his back raising off the bed. 

Jim reached behind himself and circled a finger around his hole. He groaned and closed his eyes as he pushed that finger past the tight ring of muscle. Spock’s hands found themselves on Jim’s hips, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. He watched with rapt attention as Jim fingered himself, stretching himself open in preparation. They were both practically vibrating with tension. Jim readied himself quickly, desperate to get Spock inside of him. In moments he was gripping Spock and guiding him into the tight heat of his body. 

Jim fully seated himself on Spock in one smooth motion, both groaning loudly at the sensation. Jim rolled his hips and Spock nearly came apart at the seams. Spock pulled Jim’s head down to his own, staring deep into his eyes as he slid his fingers into place on Jim’s psi points. They both gasped as their minds locked together, the bond solidifying into something permanent and unbreakable. 

Jim raised himself up and plunged back down, immediately setting a bruising pace. His whole body was alive with sensation, his mind full and overflowing with emotion and feeling. He had never felt anything like this in his entire life. Spock was groaning freely beneath him, his heart beating rapidly under Jim’s palm, his body covered in a sheen of sweat. Jim was overwhelmed with how much he loved this man, how much he needed him to survive. 

Spock was beside himself with pleasure. Thought had left him completely. He was nothing but feeling, the sensation of Jim around him, of Jim’s thoughts within him, his soul completely intertwined with his own. He was drowning in it. 

Their pace was turning frantic quickly; their thrusts rough and inelegant. Spock was pounding into Jim with fervor as he rode him, his mind exploding in blue and gold. The pleasure grew rapidly, pulling them both into a wave that crested white hot. They were completely overcome, their joint climax multiplied by their new connection. Jim’s vision blacked out, his body pulled taut, every muscle clenched and straining. He thought he would die from the strength of it. 

Their orgasm went on and on, ebbing and flowing in shocks of pleasure so intense they could barely draw breath. Aftershocks rocked through them, their bodies shaking and spent and yet still alight with sensation. Spock felt as if his body was shattering apart and then slowly knitting itself back together. For the first time in his life, he felt whole. 

Jim came to collapsed in a sweaty heap atop Spock. He let Spock slid out of him and winced at the empty feeling left behind. Spock was still out of it. Jim could actually feel him in his mind, the gentle thrum of Spock’s consciousness a comforting warmth. Happiness and contentment bloomed in his chest as he smiled down at the man beneath him, his mate.  
Spock began to stir slightly, his eyes fluttering open. Jim’s smiling face was the first thing he saw, those blue eyes glowing with love. Spock found himself smiling back without thought, unable to suppress the happiness that had taken root within him. This was how it was supposed to be. Spock and Jim, together. At last.


End file.
